![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
May. 2nd, 2018 01:34 pmWords can't really express how much I'm dreading tonight and tomorrow with this visitation and funeral. I've been keeping pretty well occupied the last few days, between work, writing and RP, that I haven't really had time to let it sink in that my friend is gone. I believe there is a heaven, and I absolutely believe that Debra is there. But that doesn't make anyone who's still here on earth miss her any less.
It's going to be hard, and emotional. She was super close to her family and I know her kids are really struggling, and that her grandson Logan is, too. He just turned 15 yesterday and his post on facebook was about never being able to hear Debra singing him happy birthday again and it really just...broke my heart for him.
One of my other coworkers, Jamie, and I, were talking last week about why can't these things happen to bad people. I think it's because people like Debra are already saved, and maybe God's trying to give the bad people a chance to sort themselves out and get right with Him before they die. It's really the only explanation that I can think of.
I struggled to fall asleep again last night and I didn't have extra coffee or caffiene. There for awhile I was passing out as soon as I crawled into bed and sleeping really deeply. But now I seem to be back into my insomnia patterns. Instead of playing on my phone or watching TV, I started praying for people. The next thing I knew I was waking up because I had to pee.
Prayer is such a strange thing to me. It's something I've always struggled with. I've always had this picture in my head - that you have to have your eyes closed and your head bowed and your hands folded and if you're doing it RIGHT, be on your knees. I'm starting to wrap my mind around the fact that I've been wrong all this time, because we can pray anywhere at anytime, and I don't have to close my eyes or bow my head or be on my knees to talk to God. I can just talk to Him like He's right beside me and that's okay too.
It's going to be hard, and emotional. She was super close to her family and I know her kids are really struggling, and that her grandson Logan is, too. He just turned 15 yesterday and his post on facebook was about never being able to hear Debra singing him happy birthday again and it really just...broke my heart for him.
One of my other coworkers, Jamie, and I, were talking last week about why can't these things happen to bad people. I think it's because people like Debra are already saved, and maybe God's trying to give the bad people a chance to sort themselves out and get right with Him before they die. It's really the only explanation that I can think of.
I struggled to fall asleep again last night and I didn't have extra coffee or caffiene. There for awhile I was passing out as soon as I crawled into bed and sleeping really deeply. But now I seem to be back into my insomnia patterns. Instead of playing on my phone or watching TV, I started praying for people. The next thing I knew I was waking up because I had to pee.
Prayer is such a strange thing to me. It's something I've always struggled with. I've always had this picture in my head - that you have to have your eyes closed and your head bowed and your hands folded and if you're doing it RIGHT, be on your knees. I'm starting to wrap my mind around the fact that I've been wrong all this time, because we can pray anywhere at anytime, and I don't have to close my eyes or bow my head or be on my knees to talk to God. I can just talk to Him like He's right beside me and that's okay too.
